How Good are you at Estimating Yourself?
Estimation brings with it the value of that estimated item. And if we consider that the value is worth it, then we pay for that item. How different is this process when the estimated item is me? Even the association between my complexity as a human being and an item is unbearable. Am I an item? And this is where the estimation begins. With this question.
If you find the idea of estimating yourself unacceptable it might be the first answer you give yourself on the intrinsic question “how much do I worth?”. It might be a mind game, where you hide from yourself that the item you consider to be unacceptable is yourself. If the estimation on yourself is that you are unacceptable, then you might find that you think you’re not very worthy.
Conscious or not, we estimate ourselves. It’s a natural process that we can’t escape it, nor should we. What we should do, is to value it. Since we’re doing it anyway, we should make it work for our benefit. Leaving the process to be unconscious is another sign that you might try to run from the outcome. The answer scares you. And you couldn’t be scared but about the painful truth that you don’t value yourself too much.
You might be self-confident at your work, or at being a parent, but that doesn’t mean you also have self-esteem. Sometimes, the reason that makes you fight for being good at those things might be the cover-up for your lack of self-esteem. You make yourself so good at that one thing so you don’t feel the lack of the other.
What is self-esteem?
It is the love and honesty we give ourselves. Those two things we crave when it comes to people close to us. We want our partners to love us and to be honest with us. But are we honest and loving with ourselves?
Self-esteem is the power of looking at ourselves as a whole – our past, our present, our looks, our actions, our behavior, our feelings, our mistakes – and embracing it totally. It is the power to fight for making this whole better for the sake of that whole. Because we love it, we care for it, and we trust it.
When the estimation of yourself doesn’t belong to you, then you might do all these things for that entity that you’ve handed the reins to. It can be the society, your boss, your parents, your husband, or your children. It’s them you fight to make happy, and only their happiness can make you feel valuable. This is not self-esteem, because your “self” isn’t the one esteeming you.
Why do we lack self-esteem?
I love what I am. This is what we forget when we lose our self-esteem.
Love is a lesson. And few of us know to teach our children to learn to love themselves because we ourselves weren’t taught how. To love oneself couldn’t possibly be egotistic. Egotism has deep roots in the lack of love for oneself. To love oneself means to be gentle with your differences. This will make you gentle with the differences of the others.
We couldn’t possibly be perfect because we are perfectly imperfects. This is the most important lesson we should teach ourselves if no one did. This is the only path to loving oneself. And the only feeling that could invalidate a wrong self-estimation. No clothes, no money, no car, no surgical surgery, no fame will ever replace the happiness that should reside from the simple estimation that says “I am.”
As our second lead editor, Anna C. Mackinno provides guidance on the stories Great Lakes Ledger reporters cover. She has been instrumental in making sure the content on the site is clear and accurate for our readers. If you see a particularly clever title, you can likely thank Anna. Anna received a BA and and MA from Fordham University.